i love grandma

i'm uploading photos from grandma's birthday celebration 2 weeks ago. and uh.. yeah, i'm emo again. >.<


i grew up at grandma's. my parents only brought me home at night, sometimes only during weekend, when i was really young like before school cuz they were (still are) very busy with work. i grew up watching teochew operas & sun wu kong the monkey god, immitating the opera singer sings and moves because grandma loves it, going to the market with grandma, waking up to find new clothes that grandma bought for me, helping grandma cook, drinking diluted D.O.M. rum that grandma gives me every night before sleep. =)

but as i grew up, i spent less time with grandma. up until when i was still in high school, i visited her every week. but now... i don't even visit her when i go back to jb sometimes. cuz i don't even have enough time for my parents.

the 6 months when i was away in europe is the longest ever i didn't see my grandma. everytime i called home, i would ask about her. and there were new stories about her everytime. as she spent most of the time alone at her own place, i guess she felt lonely, so she started having illusion/imagining many things. it became annoying to us, to all my aunties because we didn't understand why she behaved like that. the nonsense that she talked annoyed us, but there's no way to stop her.
ok.. for example, she said there's a baby in her room who just keeps on smiling and doesn't need to eat or drink or sleep.. but in fact, it's just a photo of my cousin. errr yea, scary right?

so well... yeah when i came back from europe, i went to visit her. guess what, she couldn't remember my name anymore. =(
is it alzheimer? i dunno..

she stays in a nursing home now. cuz she fell down at her home a couple of months ago. it hurts to see her tiny frame sleeping on those hospital like bed. her would from the operation is still red. and she can't really walk. I hate that she is staying there now. but there isn't anything that i can do..

so that day, we brought her home to celebrate her birthday with her. i guess she didn't really know what's going on this time.. but she's happy. to finally be with her family again. oh yeah, btw, she remembers all her daughters and daughter-in-laws, just not the grandchildren.

i dunno what i'm writing anymore. it just hurts too much to think about my poor grandma.. please get well soon, ah ma. i want to bring you home.