this blog. needs a revamp!
i'll leave that till exam is over, like officially over.

i have one last exam now, but it feels like i'm done with examsssss. haha. alright, i shan't be lazy and keep procrastinating! but hell i cant stop watching tv shows! i'm trying to catch up with glee season 1 now. it's damn good! they can really sing! :D

i love grandma

i'm uploading photos from grandma's birthday celebration 2 weeks ago. and uh.. yeah, i'm emo again. >.<


i grew up at grandma's. my parents only brought me home at night, sometimes only during weekend, when i was really young like before school cuz they were (still are) very busy with work. i grew up watching teochew operas & sun wu kong the monkey god, immitating the opera singer sings and moves because grandma loves it, going to the market with grandma, waking up to find new clothes that grandma bought for me, helping grandma cook, drinking diluted D.O.M. rum that grandma gives me every night before sleep. =)

but as i grew up, i spent less time with grandma. up until when i was still in high school, i visited her every week. but now... i don't even visit her when i go back to jb sometimes. cuz i don't even have enough time for my parents.

the 6 months when i was away in europe is the longest ever i didn't see my grandma. everytime i called home, i would ask about her. and there were new stories about her everytime. as she spent most of the time alone at her own place, i guess she felt lonely, so she started having illusion/imagining many things. it became annoying to us, to all my aunties because we didn't understand why she behaved like that. the nonsense that she talked annoyed us, but there's no way to stop her.
ok.. for example, she said there's a baby in her room who just keeps on smiling and doesn't need to eat or drink or sleep.. but in fact, it's just a photo of my cousin. errr yea, scary right?

so well... yeah when i came back from europe, i went to visit her. guess what, she couldn't remember my name anymore. =(
is it alzheimer? i dunno..

she stays in a nursing home now. cuz she fell down at her home a couple of months ago. it hurts to see her tiny frame sleeping on those hospital like bed. her would from the operation is still red. and she can't really walk. I hate that she is staying there now. but there isn't anything that i can do..

so that day, we brought her home to celebrate her birthday with her. i guess she didn't really know what's going on this time.. but she's happy. to finally be with her family again. oh yeah, btw, she remembers all her daughters and daughter-in-laws, just not the grandchildren.

i dunno what i'm writing anymore. it just hurts too much to think about my poor grandma.. please get well soon, ah ma. i want to bring you home.

i miss him

i'm such a crybaby.. i'm crying again alone in my room because i'm missing him so much. it's only been like, what, 9 days, but i miss him so damn much. come on, leann, you spent 4 months away from him! 18 days is nothing! but i just can't help it. i miss him like crazy.

don't wanna spend a day without you. so lost without you.

i love this song. i cry whenever i listen to this song, cuz it's every word you would say to me. =)

my love for grey's anatomy

i'm going back to the "princess diaries" period where i always imitate Mia Thermopolis making lists for almost everything. yea.

top 10 reasons why i LOVE grey's anatomy:

1. Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey) is H.A.W.T! i can just melt. yea, like that.

2. all other hot people in the show eg, Mark Sloan, Alex Karev, etc

3. the story is just too engaging

4. it's so emo, dark and twisted

5. can learn, ok not really "learn" learn but can know more err... anatomy? medicines? argh, whatever la. you just get to hear about all kinds of deceases/sickness/whatever. at least now i know that when one is to be hung to death, one dies not because one is out of breath, but because hanging breaks the neck

6. totally, absolutely love grey's narration. like the last one that i heard, "because when it comes to love, even freaks can't wait forever."

7. yes, it's a bit "chaotic" sometimes, but i love the way people in it love, like Christina and Owen, Meredith and Derek, and sometimes Lexy and Mark

8. it makes me feel a little bit more sophisticated? hahahha cuz i don't watch that many shows

9. not too cliche

10. good looking people making out. oops!

i surprised myself.

leann says (12:33 AM):

 exchange life.. every weekend got sth to look forward to

Dx says (12:33 AM):
 issit?
 what's there to look forward?

leann says (12:34 AM):

 traveling la

Dx says (12:34 AM):
 hahaha
Dx says (12:35 AM):
 i guess there's nothing i can do about that
 but in exchange for that, i think staying by Vik's side is worth it!!

leann says (12:36 AM):

 thats ok la

 i mean its good too

 but its different

Dx says (12:36 AM):
 hmmm

leann says (12:36 AM):

 i know i cant have the best of both worlds

Dx says (12:37 AM):
 oh.. wait
 you have the best of both worlds
 hahaha
 Vik is your world, and having Vik is having the world
 no? yes?
 hahaha

leann says (12:38 AM):

 eh different la

 he's important

 but he's not everything

leann says (12:39 AM):

 my world doesnt consist only him

 he's just part of it

 a big part

 an important part

Dx says (12:40 AM):
 WWWAaaaaa
 that's not what you told me earlier

leann says (12:40 AM):

 what did i say earlier

Dx says (12:41 AM):
 you said you can't live without Vik

leann says (12:41 AM):

 well

leann says (12:42 AM):

 i guess i;ve grown then

Dx says (12:42 AM):
 =)


thank you, baby. 

sianness

i know it's normal to feel lousy, upset, frustrated, sian and what not. but this is happening too often to me. i need to stop it! but i don't know what's the cause of this stupid feeling. sigh. and i feel that i have no friend. all my friends are always busy. or they have more important and interesting people to hang out with, like their partners. and then there comes a time when my own boyfriend is busy. and i will end up alone getting frustrated with myself. i don't hate being with myself. but i hate being at wherever i am. especially in my own hostel room. this place just irritates me now.
so every time i feel lousy, i go for retail therapy. yeah, it helps. a lot. but it doesn't help that my bank account is depleting. i don't have a lot to start with. so baby says the main problem is the money. yeah, i think it is. what can i do to have more money? my pocket money is like one third of normal people's pocket money. i get 300 bucks a month. that includes my transportation and phone bills. so i have like 200 left for food and other expenses. i can only use 6-7 bucks a day. though baby always pays for my meals, if i keep going for retail therapy whenever i'm upset, how will i ever get enough money?
so baby says i should think of other things that i can do by myself without spending money. i know there are quite many things that i can do alone that doesn't cost money, like doing work, studying, exercising, reading and etc. i need to do work. i have a lot of work to do. but i don't feel like doing it. i don't feel like doing anything. i don't feel like myself. i don't know what the fuck is happening to me. where is the normal happy optimistic me? why is this happening to me?

which one do you prefer? sunrise or sunset?
because of baby, because of Europe, i start to appreciate sunrise and sunset now (mostly sunset). =)
among all places that i went to hvar (croatia), athens & santorini (greece), rome (italy) & budapest (hungary) have the most beautiful sunset ever!

so yeah, after catching so many spectacular sunsets in europe, i'm addicted. so i keep pestering baby to bring me to the best place to watch sunset in singapore! and finally! we managed to catch sunrise and sunset!

before the sky turned bright

dawn's breaking

singapore flyer. haha!

sunset at the pinnacles @ duxton! we've been wanting to go there to catch sunset. coincidentally, captain vik met a guy who came back for reservist who happened to live in the building, so he told vik that we could go anytime and get the access card from him. we did. and saved 5 dollars each. hahahah.